Parent's Keeper

A time will come when the roles will be reversed. When the time comes what will you do? Will one become their parents or parent keeper? I recalled when my father reached out to me and asked me to relocate because he needed me. I remember that like it was yesterday. I quote "Daddy need you down here with me". It hit me like a brick.  When I received that phone call I didn't hesitate because I knew my father needed constructing a call as such. I knew my father and he never asked anybody for anything. What I didn't know that is he was sick. My father never disclosed that information to me. I understand now why he wasn't forthcoming. As a parent, one doesn't want to burden their children or children with certain information because some children don't know how to handle it or simply aren't mature enough. I'm glad my father didn't disclose his ailment because I was unable to handle it at that point and time.

Also, when one can rescue their parents or parents in their time and need he or she is considered in my book "their parents or parent keeper. Unfortunately one is unable to control who, what, and when an ailment may transpire in one life but a support system is an optimal remedy that is fulfilling in one parent or parent's life. Parents should without a shadow of a doubt be able to depend on their child or children to care for them when the parents or parent are unable to care for themselves any longer.

Actually, when a mother brings a child into this world and nurtures the child to the best of her ability. When parents become older and the parent transforms into a child again when that parent is old thus; it's time to reverse roles.  Now it's that child or children who should take on the role of caring for his or her parent until their demise. One may believe it's a job or one may deem it as an adventure. One should envision it as reflecting back on the years of blood, sweat, and tears of a mother or father who bears and sacrifices the gift for him or her.

When one contemplates reversing roles merely contemplate if it wasn't for one's mother or father where would one be.   As a parent or parents, it's a choice to be their child or children's keeper, simply akin to their child or children choosing to become their mother or father's caregiver. Why would anyone trust their parent's lives in another person's hands? There isn't anyone else who knows one parent better than their child or children and vice-versus.

Currently, my mother is struggling with an ailment. When I speak to others about her ailment it's always conveyed that eventually I would have to place her in a nursing home because it will become overwhelming for me to handle. I understand some circumstances and situations may be out of one control, therefore; the only option is a nursing home but for me and mine, I will never place my mother in a nursing home. Merely, it wasn't an option for my mother to place me up for adoption. My mother played the cards that were dealt to her and her ailment is the cards that have been dealt to me.

Furthermore, one ought to remember what goes around it will come right back around. In cases where parents weren't in their child or children's lives in their childrearing years but as an adult, the parent surfaces simply become the bigger person and do the right thing. In a situation such as subsequently, the child and absent parent should converse and hear each other out to find a middle ground and peace to move forward as a family.  Life isn't promised to anyone because one may be here today but will be gone tomorrow. One demise isn't a choice.

Kimmie Merritt
2/10/19