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Wednesday, August 3, 2016

THE SWINGER'S CLUB

There are many types of lifestyle that is created to fit one's desires and  needs. When I was introduced to a swingers  club lifestyle I became inquisitive to find out further details about it. This sort of lifestyle isn't for everyone because couples don't desire to share their partner with others.  From my perspective, it seems like married couples are most involved in this lifestyle. Furthermore, I was so intrigued because I thought when a person is married sharing wasn't an option. I guess it depends on the circumstance in the union. It was oblivious that couples concurred with this sort of lifestyle collectively because it appeared to be working out in their favor. Also, there are several married couples who participate in this lifestyle and concur that their marriage has become fulfilling for both parties involved.  There are many individuals in marriages who are unsatisfied and connecting with others in a swingers clubs setting of the same or opposite sex opens the door to novice adventure in their marriage.

In fact, there are many individuals who disagree with the aspect of becoming participants in a swinger club, and I understand their point of view. However, there are others who beg to differ because if you never tried something how can a person criticized.  There are some individuals who live by a code or just have their own belief in retrospect to their boundaries.  If you were asked to participant in a swingers club to save your marriage or relationship would you? There are many factors why couples prefer not to become swingers. One may deem that their partner may indulge in the other couples in a manner he or she doesn't indulge in their own relationship or marriage. There's that fear factor again. Also, there may be an emotional connection because some individual may not be unable to disconnect without becoming emotional attached.  We are human, and to become sexual with anyone initially is one thing but to constantly have sexual relations is something different to the point a person develops emotions for that individual. There are rules in the swinger clubs union but rules are made to be broken.

How does one approach his or her partner about becoming participants in a swingers club? Those individuals who are swingers simply say  if your partner is an opened minded individual he or she will not become offended. I deem one fear to ask their partner because It does sound like a person may be unsatisfied sexual when a question like such is addressed. Conversely, If one don't inquiry he or she will never find out. Also, it is significant to know you partner, and both parties should have a relationship that he or she are able to talk about any and everything.  It is vital to be comfortable in your own relationship, and marriage. Additionally,  be forthcoming with what turns you, and your partner on or off sexually.

Moreover, becoming swingers is a lifestyle a couple may  or may not want to explore for the rest of their life. I deem it to be a temporary fix but imagine experiencing this with your husband or wife. It will be something that couples may experience together in their marriage or relationship, and it will be an experience couples will not forget. This was a topic I wanted to convey especially for those who are struggling in their marriage or relationship, and would like to spice it up with something different.

By Kimmie Merritt
August 3, 2016

Saturday, July 2, 2016

BUILDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP RESUME

What age is acceptable when one is dating an older man/woman? One may think age matters, and one may think the maturity and experience make the difference. I deemed experience, and maturity constructs a difference versus one’s age. One may consider themselves veterans because he/she has experience in relationships but lack maturity.  Also, the age may be a factor in why he/she is lacking experience such as the age of 21 because as a person become older he/she learn about the experience. My question, is it allowed for an individual to date a person who is 20 years older? Are there limitations on experiences? I don’t deem there are limitations on experience. Also, as long as one is alive he/she are going to experience life differently. If a person dates someone who is 20 years older than he/she, it is considered a learning experience. and the next chapter in their life.  Yes, life experiences are considered chapters and each individual can write a chapter from every experience that transpired in their life good or bad. This is why my viewpoint is different from others when it comes to dating someone older.  Reminisce on your life, and think about the different situations you’ve been involved in. How did that experience help you develop? If a person is honest with themselves he/she will view how their past experiences have shaped them to become who they are currently. Every opportunity/experience is similar to building a resume.  Think about the first time you started working. How did one start building their resume to be what it is today?  One builds their resume by experience on diverse jobs. Now it is understood from a different perspective when it comes to dating an older individual who has experience under his/her belt there are advantages.

Actually, in my past, I have built my own relationship resume from past experiences, and it has helped me to become a better individual and wiser from a relationship standpoint. I’ve learned and whoever came into my life learned from me, therefore the both of us has built our resume. The only way for one to become a better individual is to experience life because each individual is different, therefore; life experience is different. If one is in a relationship and isn’t being challenged subsequent he/she is lacking their ability to learn and become a better individual. We are supposed to learn from each other “each one teaches one”. One’s focus shouldn’t be on a person AGE but on what that person has experienced during his/her life-span that will make that individual better.  I don’t believe age is a factor after the age of “21” because we all do not experience life the same. We all come from different background, therefore; one experience is different and it doesn’t matter after the age of “21”.  There are always going to be those who are not in agreement with my opinion but their opinion doesn’t matter. Some people seem to always live their life for others approval. I think one should cease living their life for others and live their life to make themselves happy. I think it is one factor why there are so many depressed individuals currently. I deem if one live their life pleasing to their own self it will make that individual happier. I’ve learned there aren't pleasing others but it’s pleasurable when you are pleasing in God eyes of life growth, and developments. One may not be where he/she wants to be but he/she isn’t where they use to be….Keep living life and persevering to learn regardless of the age difference because a person is building their own resume for a better quality of life.

Kimmie Merritt
7/2/16


Sunday, May 15, 2016

A CLEANUP WOMAN

As a child I watched  my mother nurtured my siblings, and myself  to be domestic individuals.  My mother had a formality, every morning she would make her bed. Next, she would go to the bathroom to brush her teeth then cooked breakfast. This was a ritual, and she made sure that we followed suite. There were many characteristics my mother exhibited that I  mimicked and has passed on to my children because I believed it is a fundamental  aspect of a child’s  life.  I appreciate these  attribute that she exhibited when it came to keeping her house in order as a clean up woman.  Also, on the weekend was the time that we would wake up in a timely fashion, and initiated chores. My mother qualities as a mother were extraordinary there wasn’t a time there wasn't a warm meal readily available. In fact, when she worked late hours or 2 jobs the cleanup woman  made sure she cooked sufficient food to carry over. My mother never complained about anything she simply did what she was supposed to do as a mother. Also, she never sought any hand out from anyone. She simply coped with the cards that were dealt with her and constructed our lives stressed free.  She was a perfecting mother with imperfections.   I’ve learned the perfecting aspect of being a mother and was able to be the best mother to my children.  I had exhibited some of the qualities that my mother displayed as a clean up woman in my life. I knew one day my children will become parents, therefore;  I wanted them to take a page out of my book in regards to parenthood. If a parent isn't able to teach their children the aspect such as cooking and cleaning  where are they going to develop this attribute. Every child male/female should know the basic in keeping their home clean, and not depend on someone else to do it for them.

Moreover, it is understood that there are some parents who are misguided, therefore;  their  children are misguided.  Is that acceptable? I believe there are many resources that may help parents in regards to parenthood. No acceptions! Parents should be teaching  their girls, and boys the fundamentals of house chores and cooking. If there are parents  living in a home that is untidy they should be a shame of themselves. Also, if a person is in a relationship with someone and the place is unkempt  that person should rethink that relationship.  A person who lives their life and thinks it is acceptable to live in disarray in their home is a person who is psychological challenged. When a person house isn’t orderly it demonstrates a person who life isn’t in order. If a person desire to know anything about a person when meeting them, no need to check their Facebook page.  All a person have to do is go to their house. When a person house is clean it signifies their thinking is precise and lack confusion.  Children shouldn't have to subject themselves to this kind of lifestyle. Also, children have enough to deal with going  to school, and bullying, therefore; they don’t need to be added stress from  home.  Some parents don’t view or attempt to comprehend what their children are struggling with daily, therefore home ought to be placed for peace and tranquility.  When parents don’t  take their children concerns into consideration it cause many dilemmas for that child in his/her life. Actually, if parents do not have their own best interest for their own life subsequently it will be impossible to have their children best interest at heart.

A clean up woman is a parent who can juggle without complaining, and without seeking help from their  children.  Parents who children know that he/she can depend on him /her to teach them to become independent individuals. Also, parents teach their children how to become domestic individuals. In doing this their children become independent once the child becomes age appropriate. When a child become a particular age such as over 21 parents shouldn't be cooking, cleaning, and washing their clothes for them. Actually, if he/she are not attending college the child should be out of their parents home and live on their own. This is the part of life a child must leave the nest and learn on his or her own. Also,  at the age of 21 parents should have already educated enough that their child is autonomous.  Furthermore,  if there are parents who are  treating their child like a baby. SHAME ON YOU! You are promoting a child to have a dependent  mentality, not an independent mentality.  In fact,  their child will not have an opportunity to become  a powerful leader in the future. Society has enough of individuals  who’s minds are in bondage. If parents minds are in bondage, therefore;  their child envelops similar concepts. It’s utterly sad, parents are to blame for how their child  develop certain pessimistic behaviors  in life because children mirror their parent's behavior .  Additionally, if  parents aren’t supporting  their child toward greatness he or she may become limitless in their abilities, thus; their child is destined to become a statistic. As a clean up woman a child is taught the aspect of proper etiquette in the home, and outside of the home to develop structure and stability in their own life.

By Kimmie Merritt
May 15, 2016

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

DEPRESSION IS ON THE RISE PART II

Currently, there are millions of people struggling with depression and are unaware how to cope with this disorder. Yes, depression is considered a psychological disorder. Millions of people walk the street with some sort of depression.  Also, depression has several names but are classified as such “depression” (e.g. major depressive, unipolar depression, and clinical depression to name a few). A person may convey he/she are depressed without comprehending the details of what he/she are experiencing at that point, and time. Depression takes on an entire meaning by itself, for example, loss of pleasure or interest in day to day activities, mood declines, and it may last longer than expected depending on the individual severity.  Depression is used lightly without acknowledging the changes that take place in a person’s life when he/she are struggling with this disorder.  When I had conveyed depression is taking lightly, I meant that others never seek professional help to learn methods to cope. On the other hand, a person allows this disorder to consume them to the point that their life alters for the worse.

Furthermore,  some people are so quick to say they are depressed in a situation, without making an attempt to cope or figure out strategies. It appears so easy to give up on oneself versus challenging oneself via bringing the best out of oneself. In life, there are going to be situations that  are going to challenge the belief, religion,  ethics , intelligence, and fundamentals  aspects to the point of no return. However,  a person has to fight the good fight of faith and persevere.  What would have happened if Martin Luther King Jr, simply gave up on the challenges he came into contact with? Where would we be as a people  (black/white)? Yes, in life there are going to be roadblocks and obstacles to the point that a person senses he/she doesn’t have the fight in them. A person has to believe that every situation he/she comes in contact with is just a TEST. Did you past your the test? A  mind is a terrible thing to waste, therefore; when depression sets in a person aren’t in control of their thoughts process but he/she are allowing their thoughts to be in control of them.

Just imagine in the era of Martin Luther King Jr, if the men and women weren't robust mentality where would we be today.  It is because of their strength mentally each of use has free will. Leaders are not born but made, and for person's to become leaders in life or in someone else life, he/she has to be durable.  A person mental capacity have to be like a time X watch such as “take a licking but keep on ticking”. When a person is in a situation, and the outcome isn’t what he/ she expected, it’s alright because a person has to look at it from the perspective as it being a learning experience. It’s considered the next chapter In a person’s life called “YOUR STORY” and guess who is the author YOU. You see how  it wasn’t  viewed from that perspective. Every situation or circumstances a person come into contact with is the  next big chapter in his /her LIFE, and this is when a person keeps a Journal. Write down every waking moment when  something has/had happened in their  life, and it doesn’t matter what transpired. Write, write, write.

This is why when some people seek counsel, and when he/she are struggling with depression their therapist instructs them to keep a journal. When a person is dealing with life situations/ circumstances and keeping that ordeal bottled up inside it triggers them to become depressed because there aren’t an outlet.  conversely,  if that person is able to keep a journal of the events it alleviates via writing their thoughts down on paper.  Remember,  the says “take a load off” that’s exactly what transpires when a person keeps a journal. Depending on the severity of a person depression because there are several disorders that don't requires seeking a therapist. A person simply can go through the process and overcome their depression on their own.

Kimmie Merritt
April 11, 2016

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

NUPTIALS

Every woman dreams of becoming marry once in their lifetime. Why? There are several  reasons behind the nuptials but the truth about after the I DO hasn’t been told.  Nuptials are overrated because it is the way others perceives it. Firstly, there are many who are unprepared for the novice life once they become married.  Others believe  after the marriage their life stays the same. NEWS FLASH: let the truth be told! When two people join in holy matrimony it’s not about the solo aspect but it is about two people sharing the rest of their lives together in a union.  If individuals are prepared prior to the nuptials the marriage may last, however; because some individuals do not understand the  concept of becoming married their marriages fails. There are some individuals who customs encourages them to be married, although they are not structured to be a husband or wife. Simply, because in their customs others are proactive in their lives for him/her to marry.

Also, this is why further marriages fail. Everybody isn’t molded to be a husband or a wife because it is a process and a preparation. Some may determine becoming  married isn’t for him/her but their parents insist on the marriage, and this  further exemplifies why marriages fail.  A person shouldn't encourage a person to marry when that person knows becoming married isn’t for him/ her. If a person truly believes marriage isn’t for him/her they ought to stand their ground. A person should never allow others individuals to make them do something they  will regret in the long run. If a person doesn't stand for something that person will fall for anything. That is why it is imperative for a person to have their own belief system.  When a person has their own belief system he /she will not be swayed because he/she will  be able to stand on their beliefs.

Nuptials are beautiful if those individuals have the similar concept and reasoning with  becoming married. Also, it vital to have chemistry before a person marry because that will help them sustain throughout the marriage. When a person become married and allows God first, spouse second and family last their marriage is destined for greatness . Also, when a person is able to think selfishness,  and think as partners or a team it makes the union satisfying for both individuals.

Furthermore, to be truly in love with your mate is a great feeling because there are many temptations, and when a person is tempted the loves he/she have for their mate will surpass that temptation.  When a person loves unconditional he/she are able to persevere through the worse times  in the marriage. There may be times when there may be worse times before a union may see better days, therefore;  this is when the unconditional love take precedence  to make the union stronger.

Actually ,  it takes two to make any marriage work.  One person shouldn't be fighting to keep the marriage together, and the other is watching the marriage go in a downhill spiral. Therefore,  if the other person  has given up the marriage has already ended. Should a person fight a losing battle in a marriage ? To be in a marriage unhappy, and fighting  to keep the marriage together is hopeless because that person who is fighting has already lost the battle without even realizing. That individual might as well cut his/ her losses because to be in a marriage alone is the worst feeling ever.

This is the only life there is because tomorrow isn’t promised, therefore; never allow anyone to control your happiness only you can control your destiny. The battle is not your it’s the Lords.

Kimmie Merritt
April 6, 2016

Thursday, March 24, 2016

THE HAVES & THE HAVES NOT

There is some individual who were raised with morals, values and self-respect subsequent there were that individual who was just raised without principles.  What are the differences? Those individual who was raised with morals, values, and self-respect is referred to as THE HAVES. Consequently, that individual who was just raised without principles is referred to as THE HAVES NOT.  Why are they referred as such because THE HAVES were educated to distinguish THE HAVES NOT when they are approached by those with their pants saggy because it senses some sort of Ignorance.  Also, it displays that some guy doesn’t have the capability in presenting themselves in the company of others. This concept is extremely important to that individual who are planning to parent children.  Why? When individuals have children the parents are the one's who are supposed to teach their child how to present themselves in a respectful manner in the company of a woman. It’s the parent’s responsibility that their sons are presenting their selves in a respectful fashion versus wearing their pants sagging.

There is a disconnection when parents accept this sort of fashion trend from their sons and encourages their behavior via permitting it. Furthermore, if parents accept this kind of fashion trend then the children will never comprehend the downside such as health issues when they are up in age. When these youngster's become older there are going to have to deal with having terrible posture because of the fashion their legs are situated when their pants sag. Moreover, these youngsters will suffer from hip deterioration, also dilemma with their lower back. Is that what you want parents for your children?  In life, there are always causes and effects, because THE HAVES NOT wears their pants in such a manner it is going to cause health issues long-term.  Also, there are not turning back from these youngster's body disfigurement. This is why parents should be active in their son’s lives and give a damn about the damage when their son’s are wearing saggy pants.

In addition, children will be children, thus; if parents do not educate them how are they supposed to learn, and teach their children. It is said that children are our future but it is unforeseen because some children aren’t educated, some children are irresponsible and without the proper guidance. Attention: THE HAVES, become very cautious of the HAVES NOT. Do not accept anything that comes your way, and become extremely aware of what you are seeking from any guys. If THE HAVES NOT parents are not educating them about ethics, therefore; he will not be able to measure up to you-THE HAVES. Moreover, there are many things that are acceptable for males but are unacceptable for the females. This is a double standard because if something is acceptable for one it ought to be acceptable for the other.  I think if individual become educated on the saggy pants history subsequently a change may be a probability because some individual transforms to make certain things their lifestyle.

Furthermore, for changes to transpire congress will have to get involved, therefore; forcing a change such as ticketing THE HAVES NOT that wear saggy pants in public. If it has to come to that for change so be it because this has been excessive for too long, and the damage is already done from a health standpoint. For those who have an open mind, think about the millions of hip replacement that are going to take place because of the HAVES NOT wearing saggy pants. In fact, hypothetical the price of hip replacement is 30,000 simply imagine THE HAVES NOT that wear saggy pants having this surgery perform on them. “ching, ching, let the cash register ring”. That’s a lot of surgeries, and money composed on each HAVE NOT, therefore; the doctor's benefits again when hip surgery are performed. Actually, the longer it is permitted for THE HAVES NOT to wear saggy pants long-standing meaning further hospital claims and the doctors gets richer at the HAVES NOT expense. When is the time going to come when others stop being a part of the problem but be a part of the solution?

By Kimmie Merritt
March 24, 2016

Sunday, March 20, 2016

THE CHEATERS CLUB


PART 1
A person may have been in a relationship in the past, and that person may have experienced a cheating partner. Now, this person who was the victim vows not to allow another man/woman to cheat on them ever again. A person may permit their self to become involved physically but not emotionally in the next relationship.  Also, a person may become connected to that individual but just to the point that a sexual relationship develops.  Actually, a person may become involved with numerous persons sexually   without any attachments. The other person may think simply because they have a connection with that person he/ she may be in a relationship not realizing it is only a sexual relationship. This is considered having mix signals because one person may feel that he/she may be in a relationship with that individual without realizing it is not an exclusive relationship. After having sex with a person extensively a person may or may not become emotionally attached but this depends on the individual.  This is where the confusion plays a part in sexual relationships.  A person should always be precise in what he/she is seeking in any relationship. If a person just desires a sexual relationship subsequent articulate it. Don’t allow a person to assume sex means he/she are in a platonic relationship because there are individual who are having sex, and deem having sex means a person is in a exclusive/serious relationship. I think people are not sincere after the sex is all said and done. When a person are sexually involved with someone a clear-cut understanding need to be address such as I am or am not interested in a relationship I simple desire a sex partner nothing more.

Currently, people do not inquiry if dating is in the present or future they are under their own presumption. People simply assume because they are spending time collectively, and having sex he/she or dating.  What happened to asking a person if he/she wants to date?  This is why individuals become confused because of mix signals.  In fact, after spending time with a person he/she should inquire where he/she stands in the relationship. A person do not want to be  spending  quality time with a person  to find out later that he/she intentions are not to become more than sex partner. This point is very important because it will determine if that person is worth the time.  Time is very important and it can be taken for granted therefore, it is vital how a person spend their time and with whom. Time wait for no one! Every minute a person spends with each other is counted because a person can’t take that time back.

When a person met for the first time it is not clear what he/she is seeking. When meeting a person for the first time it is proposal that both individuals are on their best behavior.  It is said a person first impression is what win a person over in determining if there are going to be a second date. Therefore, in the beginning he/she will do and eloquent anything to be seen as the optimal candidate. In the technology arena, I deem it is significant to perform a background on people because this will give a person some sort idea who he/she is becoming involved with because people are not forth-coming about themselves or their past.  A person shouldn’t take anything at face value. A person will articulate what he/she wants a person to know about them, and it may be false information. This is what I mean about telling a person what they want to hear.

There are several reasons why a person my cheat such as there aren’t listening skills in the relationship/marriage, therefore; he/she may meet someone who fills that void and listen. Following all that listening then a sexual relationship beginnings. There may have been a time in the relationship when they both listened to each other. Following many years in a relationship,/married those listening skills take a back seat and aren't as significant as they were in the beginning. This leaves rooms for someone else to become connected and fill what is lacking in the marriage/relationship. Also, some people lack those attributes they had in the beginning of the relationship and isn’t attentive to their partner needs/desires, therefore; someone else comes along and filled that void.  Furthermore, couples seems to cease doing the things they use to do when they initially met in the relationship that kept the fire burning and the fires has burned out. Therefore; it leaves room for someone else to fill that void that has been missing in the marriage and relationship. It takes two to keep the fire burning in the marriage/relationship, and if one aren’t doing their part that leave room for someone. Some people are so quick to cry the blues when he/she is cheated on but it is important to understanding what is lacking in the marriage/relationship. Is that person doing his/her part?

Some people are so abrupt to change after he/she become married such as lacking independence and appearance. Therefore after he/she are married to that person it is vital to keep the appearance up. If a person does not keep their self up he/she will seek the next best looking thing that is attracted to him/her.  People should know who he/she marry because a person past will show up and show out in the marriage/relationship because lack of investigation on yours part. This person may have cheated on his/her exes in the past but was never forth-coming with this information. Think about it, be a detective for once in your life because it‘s your life with his person. Some people become married not knowing who they married. There is never a rational to cheat on a person, and I think if it comes to that point it is important to express those concerns. This gives the person the opportunity to make the necessary corrections. Now, if the person concerns fall on death ear then measure should be taken. Also, I think before a person decides to cheat him/she should leave the relationship/marriage because to simply step out on the person is a bad decision and sometime there is no returning.  It is important for a person to live a happy life with whomever because a person only lives once and demise can happen in a blink of an eye.

Kimmie Merritt
March 20, 2016

Monday, March 14, 2016

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES



Currently, there are many women who are seeking to become married for one reason or another, thus; the pressure is on for the men to marry them. Also, there are women who have a time frame that she desires to be married such as before 30, 40 or 50 years of age. Some women feel their biological clock is ticking, therefore; time is of an essence. There shouldn’t be a time frame when a woman should become married because the older the wiser, and it comprises preparation.  A woman shouldn’t jump into a marriage without understanding the entails about the partnership. Moreover, before a woman become married she has to take into consideration what is the expectation of a wife. There are many women who are hoping to marry, thus; playing the role of the desperate housewives, and the husband is their escape goat.  For some, honesty plays a key part in accepting the truth about one’s self because when a person isn’t honest their marriage is doom to fail.  Most people are not honest about wanting to become married. They only articulate what they feel the other person should know about them. Therefore, the husband is walking into the marriage blind-folded.  A man may marry a woman under false pretense, not the truth. However, as time passes the woman transforms into a totally different person than her husband married.  Any woman can get a husband because men are visual, however; how many wives can keep her husband. The statistics are high on failed marriages, therefore; a person needs to be clear on their rational before becoming married. A woman shouldn’t have to pressure a man to marry because if there is pressure it obvious that the woman isn’t qualified to be his wife. A man should see a woman and know from the time spend that that woman is the one he desire to spend the rest of his life with. Desperate housewives are simply women who seek a husband instead of a husband seeking a wife. Allow me to repeat that for those who didn’t receive it. Desperate housewives are simply women who seek a husband instead of a husband seeking a wife. Read proverbs 18:22.  It’s important to possess discernment because a husband does not desire a wife who is considered Desperate.

What has the cosmos come to that some women are desperate to the point that she is seeking a man to marry. Men listen up! If there are women who are seeking you to marry them RUN FOREST GRUMP RUN.  When a woman seeks a man to marry it is because she is struggling with something in her past or present life and is using the man as her escape goat. Therefore, she deems becoming married will fill that void she has been struggling with but becoming married will never close that chapter in her life that is considered her own demons. There are many marriages that fail because of the false pretense concept. Some women believe it is best to conceal who they are because it is easier to be accepted. Others seem to forget that whatever is done in the dark will come to the light. When the covers come off and those lies are revealed subsequently their wife will be considered a deceiver. If a person does not have trust in their marriage, therefore; the marriage is already over depending on the circumstance.

Actually, seeking to become married isn’t for everyone just because a woman sense to become married doesn’t mean it is an appropriate choice.  Some people jump into marriages and regrets it. Marriages aren't something a person ought to jump in, subsequently, decides it wasn’t for him/her. Some people are honest with themselves and will say the marriage thing isn’t for them, but respected for being honest with themselves. Other does marry to try it, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Who goes into marriage sabotaging it before it gets started? Marriage isn’t buying a product; try the product, and if a person doesn’t like it return the product. Marriage is a commitment, partnership and theirs two people making a grown up decision to be together forever through better/ worse times. It is significant to really know who a person marry beforehand. Once a person becomes married it isn’t about SELF anymore. It’s about the partnership and compromise also, divorcing family and friends such as mother, father, siblings, etc…GOD FIRST, FAMILY SECOND, and CAREER THIRD. Just in that order…

By Kimmie Merritt
March 14, 2016

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

CHILD SUPPORT: WIN, LOSE OR DRAW



The child support administration is a system that gives several parents opportunity to play chess with their children lives. There are several families who are affected via the child support administration.  Some parents deem it is the best thing since wonder bread that is the father or mother paying support for their child/ children.  Is it the only option to pay child support?  Some parent may vow there aren’t any other options but I beg to differ.   “SLEEPING WITH the ENEMY “is an analogy of how some people have children with others not knowing who he/she is sleeping with. Therefore, a child is born because of their parent poor choices. Who should be held accountable for the parent’s actions? Actually, in life there are causes and effects , therefore when a parent takes another parent to court for child support, how is that parent suppose to react? The child / children never win in a case as such his / her father /mother will not be in their lives as much anymore or never.  The custodial parent may deem it insignificant to have the absence parent in the child/children life for whatever reason. However, a parent can’t determine how their child/children may feel without their absence mother/father.  As a result, the parent takes it upon him/herself not to allow the father/mother a chance to see the child/children and that should be a CRIME. In a case of abuse, molestation, rape, etc. this does not apply.

The system allows this behavior from the parent, and again the child /children suffer.  Child/children need their parents in their life, PERIOD. When child/children do not have their mother / father in their life it will affect them for the rest of their life. Who cares?  Again, the child / children suffer again.  Moreover, indirectly parent permits their poor judgment to effect their child/ children. Child support is for parents who do not claim or acknowledge their child/children from the first day of birth. Child support is not for those parents who are a willing participate in their child/children lives up to the point that the mother and father relationship ended.  Since the relationship ends the custodial parent will not give the absent parent the opportunity to support the child on his/her own free will. There is circumstance and maybe the father isn’t able to support the child at the time for example laid off a job, however; the mother wants the money sooner than later. This doesn’t allow the father the opportunity to contain the money in a timely fashion. This is selfish on the mother part or vice-versa.  There are many parents who aren’t dead beat dads/ mom’s  However, a parent understands when things are not going in their favor the next best thing is to tap their pockets “child support”. CHING, CHING, CHING, LET THE CASH REGISTER RING

 Do parents really think about that child support that is it will take the place of what a mother/father may give to their child /children?  Money is provisional but that love and affection that child/children desire will never be displayed from the absent parent.  Why? Some parents exhibit a behavior of a narcissistic, and this is their rational and their child/children are an after-thought. Some parents need to be stopped from bashing father’s who are not deadbeats. Also, non-custodial parents need to fight back and not permit the mother/father, and the child support administration to take their dignity/pride as a man/woman away from them.  Fight back meaning fight in the court of law to attain custody of their child/children.  That’s the only way to flip the script and fight for their child /children rights especially when a parent wants the best for their child. Some parents are vindictive and spiteful, thus; fighting in the court of law is simply unfair to the innocent child / children.  When this process begins just know it will be an extremely prolong process.  Attaining custody will not transpire overnight so be prepared for the fight of your life. It’s very sad and disturbing to take a child through a process as such but I deem it to be a parent right to fight back. There are parents out there who do not deserve to be on CHILD SUPPORT.  Also, there are parents out there who have a relationship with their child/children, and spend the appropriate time with their children; however, in spite what they have done he/she is still paying child support.    The child support administration is an outrage and their policies need to be revised because of the unfairness.   This is an injustice on their part with the child support system.  It is deemed that children experience further challenges from their parents when they consumed issues with child support, and it affects them psychologically.  How dare parents put a price tag (child support) versus a parent love for their child /children.

When is the child support administration going to amend their policies so parents may have a fair opportunity to shared custody justly?  The child support administration has governed by these policies to interfere and interrupt family’s lives. These interruptions are beneficial for the child support system not for the child/children who are caught up in between. Children suffer enough at the hands of their parents because some parents think their way is the right way. In fact, some parents do not know everything because if the knew they will not cause this heavy burden on their child/children.  They wouldn’t allow their children to be tied into the child support system.  If they knew everything they wouldn’t be in bed with the enemy fighting a losing battle. Parent need to be held accountable for their children suffering from behavioral disorders. Furthermore, parents can stop wondering why their child/children are rebellious because the reason is right in front of them. TAKE A LOOK AT THE MAN/WOMAN IN THE MIRROR. The child /children are the victims at the hands of their parent.

By Kimmie Merritt
March 8, 2016


Sunday, March 6, 2016

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY


Life is a journey, therefore; a person will come into one's life, and that individual will not know that he/she is sleeping with the enemy. Who is considered the enemy? The enemy is an individual who comes into one's life with bad intentions, and the other person will not have a clue how their life  is going to change drastically. People come from a diverse environment, therefore; how one person may be raised, another may be raised dissimilar. Also, when a person comes in one’s life he/she will only articulate, and become forthcoming with what he/she wants to be known. This is why a person should be cautious with whom he/she allows in their bed. There are many people who conceal themselves but may be  molesters, rapist, suicidal, dead-beat dads, prostitutes, craigslist killers, etc, and are sleeping in bed with you. It seems like people are sleepwalking because he/she doesn’t inquire when becoming involved with these individuals. Everything goes, and no questions are asked, therefore; when a person child is molested or raped by the enemy such as a person mate, who should be blamed when a person is sleepwalking.  Sleepwalkers need to wake up and take a good look at the person who they are sharing their bed with.  Furthermore, fathers need to know who their child mother is shacking up with because whoever he/she connects with is connected to their son or daughter, and vice-versa. STOP SLEEP WALKING…


Actually, it doesn’t necessary have to be those in relationships who are sleeping with the enemy. It can also be couples who are married that are considered the enemies too.  Couples are married for 10-15 year’s and still don’t know who he/she are sharing pillow time in their bed.  A person may seem to be the person he/she desired but soon after I DO, it feels akin to a person marrying someone else. Sounds familiar! Time and time again a story as such has been told, however; it has been ignored for one reason or another.  Although a person is married to the enemy he/she continues to ignore the fact that he/she does not know who he/she married. The enemy knows those individuals who are needy, therefore; he/she use that attribute against that same person to get them to trust him/her to his/her advantage.  God will show a person demeanor clearly, however; some people refuse to see with their own eyes. There are individual (enemy) who comes into other lives with a agenda to dismantle a person self-esteem, self-worth, and the other person doesn't recognize the enemy craft. Sleepwalkers are always sleeping, and when he/she finally decides to walk up it is always too late.

The enemy is extremely good at what he/she does this is how he/she can carry it out for such a long time without being exposed.  Again, are you sleeping with the enemy?  On this journey call life, there are going to be pit stops, therefore; those individual that come into a person life isn’t meant to be in their life forever.  Some pit stops are simply that, thus; allow him/her to find the rest of the way on their own.  There are some individuals who want to hold on to relationships, and marriages that were not supposed to transpire in the first place. Now, the mates feel stuck in the relationship, and can’t seem to get out establishing a prison break. This is another case of sleeping with the enemy when a person is stuck in a relationship/marriage and is unable to escape for some unknown reason. There is always an excuse why a person is unable to escape the enemy. Anyone who is not a part of the same concept in life creating a future together sustainable, and is not contributing to the cause, therefore; is the enemy as well. Discernment is a characteristic some individuals do not contain, therefore; he/she will always view themselves as the victim in every situation. We victimize ourselves because we never wake-up from our own nightmares, and we continue to sleepwalk.

Kimmie Merritt
March 6, 2016

Thursday, March 3, 2016

WHY ME?



Molestation is a mental dysfunction that has been silent for several years. There are many people currently who have been molested but are terrified to speak out about their ordeal. A person prefers to live their life in fear instead of living a proactive life speaking out.  It just takes one person to become proactive, and everyone else will follow. Remember when AID hit the United States like a flood everyone who had this disease was afraid to speak out because society is extremely judgmental, therefore; it was best to keep quiet. However, it only took one person to come out the closet and say he/she had the AIDS VIRUS subsequently everybody followed.

Those who have/has been molested past or present are feeling in a similar fashion, therefore; he/she sense it is best to keep quiet. When a person is quiet about molestation their mind will never become free from that act. Some individual deem it is best to ignore what transpired, and he/she attempts to live a normal life.  Also, it is challenging to live a normal life after a person has been molested/rape because he/she will always revisit that experience over, and over again in their mind. Why would anyone allow themselves to be tormented in this manner without seeking professional help? When it comes to a relationship he/she will never have a productive connection with anyone because of the act. A person who molests/ rapes other’s for their own self-gratification is struggling because he/she was molested as well.  That’s usually the case.

There are parents who know their children had been molested and are ignoring the fact. It's unfair because parents are supposed to protect their children. Also, there are parents who don't  believe their children when it is conveyed about their being molested.  Why would any parent be in disbelief when their children  are confiding in them. This is a factor why children run away from home because their own parents are in disbelief. If their own parents aren't going to believe or protect them subsequent who will?

Molestation/rape isn’t a behavior that is acceptable, therefore; to allow anyone to get away with this act is criminal. When a person has been molested/rape it turns their entire life upside down. A person may attempt to live a normal life following an ordeal as such because some condition their mind so he/she can forget the act performed.  Although a person may forget it temporary their actions in the manner of how he/she lives to will display some sort of dysfunction. Molestation/rape is never the person fault but if that individual does not speak up how can the molester be held accountable for the act that was placed upon that individual.  The molester is free to further his act toward other victims.

 WE HAVE A VOICE, THEREFORE WE SHALL USE IT TO SPEAK OUT AGAINST THE SECRET OF MOLESTATION OR RAPE.

Kimmie Merritt
March 3, 2016