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Thursday, March 23, 2017

OUR YOUNG GIRLS HAVE A VOICE

EMPOWER OUR GIRLS!
" I’ve always dealt with having low self esteem throughout the beginning of high school by not loving myself and the way I looked. By junior year, I was the more confident in myself, I realized I wasn’t the only one that was petite and as people complimented me I
would look in the mirror and finally see what they saw and soon I began to love and respect myself. I wanted the same for my friends and other females I saw in my school but didn’t necessarily know how to help them.

My A.P. English teacher created a club called ‘Girls on Point’, which was an all girls club where we sat down and talked about how to help build up our confidence especially the colored females. My teacher taught us to focus on ourselves and love ourselves more than ever and never let anyone talk down on us. As she told us these things, all I could think about was the females that did not come to the club who really needed these talks, ones who were
letting boys disrespect them in so many ways and fighting each other, making colored females look like we were the so called stereotype “Angry Black Woman.” I tried to encourage females in my school to come to the club by putting up posters, texting them and
telling them about it and even posting it on social media but they would just end up ignoring me or lying saying they would come knowing they wouldn’t. 

Seeing that this club has changed me in a positive way, I just want all females to feel the same way I felt. I know it
could take time but it would be better if we all came together instead of going through it alone. As I continue to grow up, I want to focus more for our colored girls and making sure they know that they are not alone and that they are beautiful. In the future when i become a
pediatrician/psychologist I want to start my own girls club and help give females the same confidence and feeling my A.P. teacher gave me. I want to change my community for the better and make sure us females build each other up rather than tear each other down. As a
young black girl I feel as though I have something to prove and show the world so people can see I’m not that so called “Angry Black Woman” but that I have so much more to offer. " by Kyanna Willams 
Comment ! 3/23/17

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

THE SWINGER'S CLUB

There are many types of lifestyle that is created to fit one's desires and  needs. When I was introduced to a swingers  club lifestyle I became inquisitive to find out further details about it. This sort of lifestyle isn't for everyone because couples don't desire to share their partner with others.  From my perspective, it seems like married couples are most involved in this lifestyle. Furthermore, I was so intrigued because I thought when a person is married sharing wasn't an option. I guess it depends on the circumstance in the union. It was oblivious that couples concurred with this sort of lifestyle collectively because it appeared to be working out in their favor. Also, there are several married couples who participate in this lifestyle and concur that their marriage has become fulfilling for both parties involved.  There are many individuals in marriages who are unsatisfied and connecting with others in a swingers clubs setting of the same or opposite sex opens the door to novice adventure in their marriage.

In fact, there are many individuals who disagree with the aspect of becoming participants in a swinger club, and I understand their point of view. However, there are others who beg to differ because if you never tried something how can a person criticized.  There are some individuals who live by a code or just have their own belief in retrospect to their boundaries.  If you were asked to participant in a swingers club to save your marriage or relationship would you? There are many factors why couples prefer not to become swingers. One may deem that their partner may indulge in the other couples in a manner he or she doesn't indulge in their own relationship or marriage. There's that fear factor again. Also, there may be an emotional connection because some individual may not be unable to disconnect without becoming emotional attached.  We are human, and to become sexual with anyone initially is one thing but to constantly have sexual relations is something different to the point a person develops emotions for that individual. There are rules in the swinger clubs union but rules are made to be broken.

How does one approach his or her partner about becoming participants in a swingers club? Those individuals who are swingers simply say  if your partner is an opened minded individual he or she will not become offended. I deem one fear to ask their partner because It does sound like a person may be unsatisfied sexual when a question like such is addressed. Conversely, If one don't inquiry he or she will never find out. Also, it is significant to know you partner, and both parties should have a relationship that he or she are able to talk about any and everything.  It is vital to be comfortable in your own relationship, and marriage. Additionally,  be forthcoming with what turns you, and your partner on or off sexually.

Moreover, becoming swingers is a lifestyle a couple may  or may not want to explore for the rest of their life. I deem it to be a temporary fix but imagine experiencing this with your husband or wife. It will be something that couples may experience together in their marriage or relationship, and it will be an experience couples will not forget. This was a topic I wanted to convey especially for those who are struggling in their marriage or relationship, and would like to spice it up with something different.

By Kimmie Merritt
August 3, 2016

Saturday, July 2, 2016

BUILDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP RESUME

What age is acceptable when one is dating an older man/woman? One may think age matters, and one may think the maturity and experience make the difference. I deemed experience, and maturity constructs a difference versus one’s age. One may consider themselves veterans because he/she has experience in relationships but lack maturity.  Also, the age may be a factor in why he/she is lacking experience such as the age of 21 because as a person become older he/she learn about the experience. My question, is it allowed for an individual to date a person who is 20 years older? Are there limitations on experiences? I don’t deem there are limitations on experience. Also, as long as one is alive he/she are going to experience life differently. If a person dates someone who is 20 years older than he/she, it is considered a learning experience. and the next chapter in their life.  Yes, life experiences are considered chapters and each individual can write a chapter from every experience that transpired in their life good or bad. This is why my viewpoint is different from others when it comes to dating someone older.  Reminisce on your life, and think about the different situations you’ve been involved in. How did that experience help you develop? If a person is honest with themselves he/she will view how their past experiences have shaped them to become who they are currently. Every opportunity/experience is similar to building a resume.  Think about the first time you started working. How did one start building their resume to be what it is today?  One builds their resume by experience on diverse jobs. Now it is understood from a different perspective when it comes to dating an older individual who has experience under his/her belt there are advantages.

Actually, in my past, I have built my own relationship resume from past experiences, and it has helped me to become a better individual and wiser from a relationship standpoint. I’ve learned and whoever came into my life learned from me, therefore the both of us has built our resume. The only way for one to become a better individual is to experience life because each individual is different, therefore; life experience is different. If one is in a relationship and isn’t being challenged subsequent he/she is lacking their ability to learn and become a better individual. We are supposed to learn from each other “each one teaches one”. One’s focus shouldn’t be on a person AGE but on what that person has experienced during his/her life-span that will make that individual better.  I don’t believe age is a factor after the age of “21” because we all do not experience life the same. We all come from different background, therefore; one experience is different and it doesn’t matter after the age of “21”.  There are always going to be those who are not in agreement with my opinion but their opinion doesn’t matter. Some people seem to always live their life for others approval. I think one should cease living their life for others and live their life to make themselves happy. I think it is one factor why there are so many depressed individuals currently. I deem if one live their life pleasing to their own self it will make that individual happier. I’ve learned there aren't pleasing others but it’s pleasurable when you are pleasing in God eyes of life growth, and developments. One may not be where he/she wants to be but he/she isn’t where they use to be….Keep living life and persevering to learn regardless of the age difference because a person is building their own resume for a better quality of life.

Kimmie Merritt
7/2/16


Sunday, May 15, 2016

A CLEANUP WOMAN

As a child I watched  my mother nurtured my siblings, and myself  to be domestic individuals.  My mother had a formality, every morning she would make her bed. Next, she would go to the bathroom to brush her teeth then cooked breakfast. This was a ritual, and she made sure that we followed suite. There were many characteristics my mother exhibited that I  mimicked and has passed on to my children because I believed it is a fundamental  aspect of a child’s  life.  I appreciate these  attribute that she exhibited when it came to keeping her house in order as a clean up woman.  Also, on the weekend was the time that we would wake up in a timely fashion, and initiated chores. My mother qualities as a mother were extraordinary there wasn’t a time there wasn't a warm meal readily available. In fact, when she worked late hours or 2 jobs the cleanup woman  made sure she cooked sufficient food to carry over. My mother never complained about anything she simply did what she was supposed to do as a mother. Also, she never sought any hand out from anyone. She simply coped with the cards that were dealt with her and constructed our lives stressed free.  She was a perfecting mother with imperfections.   I’ve learned the perfecting aspect of being a mother and was able to be the best mother to my children.  I had exhibited some of the qualities that my mother displayed as a clean up woman in my life. I knew one day my children will become parents, therefore;  I wanted them to take a page out of my book in regards to parenthood. If a parent isn't able to teach their children the aspect such as cooking and cleaning  where are they going to develop this attribute. Every child male/female should know the basic in keeping their home clean, and not depend on someone else to do it for them.

Moreover, it is understood that there are some parents who are misguided, therefore;  their  children are misguided.  Is that acceptable? I believe there are many resources that may help parents in regards to parenthood. No acceptions! Parents should be teaching  their girls, and boys the fundamentals of house chores and cooking. If there are parents  living in a home that is untidy they should be a shame of themselves. Also, if a person is in a relationship with someone and the place is unkempt  that person should rethink that relationship.  A person who lives their life and thinks it is acceptable to live in disarray in their home is a person who is psychological challenged. When a person house isn’t orderly it demonstrates a person who life isn’t in order. If a person desire to know anything about a person when meeting them, no need to check their Facebook page.  All a person have to do is go to their house. When a person house is clean it signifies their thinking is precise and lack confusion.  Children shouldn't have to subject themselves to this kind of lifestyle. Also, children have enough to deal with going  to school, and bullying, therefore; they don’t need to be added stress from  home.  Some parents don’t view or attempt to comprehend what their children are struggling with daily, therefore home ought to be placed for peace and tranquility.  When parents don’t  take their children concerns into consideration it cause many dilemmas for that child in his/her life. Actually, if parents do not have their own best interest for their own life subsequently it will be impossible to have their children best interest at heart.

A clean up woman is a parent who can juggle without complaining, and without seeking help from their  children.  Parents who children know that he/she can depend on him /her to teach them to become independent individuals. Also, parents teach their children how to become domestic individuals. In doing this their children become independent once the child becomes age appropriate. When a child become a particular age such as over 21 parents shouldn't be cooking, cleaning, and washing their clothes for them. Actually, if he/she are not attending college the child should be out of their parents home and live on their own. This is the part of life a child must leave the nest and learn on his or her own. Also,  at the age of 21 parents should have already educated enough that their child is autonomous.  Furthermore,  if there are parents who are  treating their child like a baby. SHAME ON YOU! You are promoting a child to have a dependent  mentality, not an independent mentality.  In fact,  their child will not have an opportunity to become  a powerful leader in the future. Society has enough of individuals  who’s minds are in bondage. If parents minds are in bondage, therefore;  their child envelops similar concepts. It’s utterly sad, parents are to blame for how their child  develop certain pessimistic behaviors  in life because children mirror their parent's behavior .  Additionally, if  parents aren’t supporting  their child toward greatness he or she may become limitless in their abilities, thus; their child is destined to become a statistic. As a clean up woman a child is taught the aspect of proper etiquette in the home, and outside of the home to develop structure and stability in their own life.

By Kimmie Merritt
May 15, 2016

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

DEPRESSION IS ON THE RISE PART II

Currently, there are millions of people struggling with depression and are unaware how to cope with this disorder. Yes, depression is considered a psychological disorder. Millions of people walk the street with some sort of depression.  Also, depression has several names but are classified as such “depression” (e.g. major depressive, unipolar depression, and clinical depression to name a few). A person may convey he/she are depressed without comprehending the details of what he/she are experiencing at that point, and time. Depression takes on an entire meaning by itself, for example, loss of pleasure or interest in day to day activities, mood declines, and it may last longer than expected depending on the individual severity.  Depression is used lightly without acknowledging the changes that take place in a person’s life when he/she are struggling with this disorder.  When I had conveyed depression is taking lightly, I meant that others never seek professional help to learn methods to cope. On the other hand, a person allows this disorder to consume them to the point that their life alters for the worse.

Furthermore,  some people are so quick to say they are depressed in a situation, without making an attempt to cope or figure out strategies. It appears so easy to give up on oneself versus challenging oneself via bringing the best out of oneself. In life, there are going to be situations that  are going to challenge the belief, religion,  ethics , intelligence, and fundamentals  aspects to the point of no return. However,  a person has to fight the good fight of faith and persevere.  What would have happened if Martin Luther King Jr, simply gave up on the challenges he came into contact with? Where would we be as a people  (black/white)? Yes, in life there are going to be roadblocks and obstacles to the point that a person senses he/she doesn’t have the fight in them. A person has to believe that every situation he/she comes in contact with is just a TEST. Did you past your the test? A  mind is a terrible thing to waste, therefore; when depression sets in a person aren’t in control of their thoughts process but he/she are allowing their thoughts to be in control of them.

Just imagine in the era of Martin Luther King Jr, if the men and women weren't robust mentality where would we be today.  It is because of their strength mentally each of use has free will. Leaders are not born but made, and for person's to become leaders in life or in someone else life, he/she has to be durable.  A person mental capacity have to be like a time X watch such as “take a licking but keep on ticking”. When a person is in a situation, and the outcome isn’t what he/ she expected, it’s alright because a person has to look at it from the perspective as it being a learning experience. It’s considered the next chapter In a person’s life called “YOUR STORY” and guess who is the author YOU. You see how  it wasn’t  viewed from that perspective. Every situation or circumstances a person come into contact with is the  next big chapter in his /her LIFE, and this is when a person keeps a Journal. Write down every waking moment when  something has/had happened in their  life, and it doesn’t matter what transpired. Write, write, write.

This is why when some people seek counsel, and when he/she are struggling with depression their therapist instructs them to keep a journal. When a person is dealing with life situations/ circumstances and keeping that ordeal bottled up inside it triggers them to become depressed because there aren’t an outlet.  conversely,  if that person is able to keep a journal of the events it alleviates via writing their thoughts down on paper.  Remember,  the says “take a load off” that’s exactly what transpires when a person keeps a journal. Depending on the severity of a person depression because there are several disorders that don't requires seeking a therapist. A person simply can go through the process and overcome their depression on their own.

Kimmie Merritt
April 11, 2016

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

NUPTIALS

Every woman dreams of becoming marry once in their lifetime. Why? There are several  reasons behind the nuptials but the truth about after the I DO hasn’t been told.  Nuptials are overrated because it is the way others perceives it. Firstly, there are many who are unprepared for the novice life once they become married.  Others believe  after the marriage their life stays the same. NEWS FLASH: let the truth be told! When two people join in holy matrimony it’s not about the solo aspect but it is about two people sharing the rest of their lives together in a union.  If individuals are prepared prior to the nuptials the marriage may last, however; because some individuals do not understand the  concept of becoming married their marriages fails. There are some individuals who customs encourages them to be married, although they are not structured to be a husband or wife. Simply, because in their customs others are proactive in their lives for him/her to marry.

Also, this is why further marriages fail. Everybody isn’t molded to be a husband or a wife because it is a process and a preparation. Some may determine becoming  married isn’t for him/her but their parents insist on the marriage, and this  further exemplifies why marriages fail.  A person shouldn't encourage a person to marry when that person knows becoming married isn’t for him/ her. If a person truly believes marriage isn’t for him/her they ought to stand their ground. A person should never allow others individuals to make them do something they  will regret in the long run. If a person doesn't stand for something that person will fall for anything. That is why it is imperative for a person to have their own belief system.  When a person has their own belief system he /she will not be swayed because he/she will  be able to stand on their beliefs.

Nuptials are beautiful if those individuals have the similar concept and reasoning with  becoming married. Also, it vital to have chemistry before a person marry because that will help them sustain throughout the marriage. When a person become married and allows God first, spouse second and family last their marriage is destined for greatness . Also, when a person is able to think selfishness,  and think as partners or a team it makes the union satisfying for both individuals.

Furthermore, to be truly in love with your mate is a great feeling because there are many temptations, and when a person is tempted the loves he/she have for their mate will surpass that temptation.  When a person loves unconditional he/she are able to persevere through the worse times  in the marriage. There may be times when there may be worse times before a union may see better days, therefore;  this is when the unconditional love take precedence  to make the union stronger.

Actually ,  it takes two to make any marriage work.  One person shouldn't be fighting to keep the marriage together, and the other is watching the marriage go in a downhill spiral. Therefore,  if the other person  has given up the marriage has already ended. Should a person fight a losing battle in a marriage ? To be in a marriage unhappy, and fighting  to keep the marriage together is hopeless because that person who is fighting has already lost the battle without even realizing. That individual might as well cut his/ her losses because to be in a marriage alone is the worst feeling ever.

This is the only life there is because tomorrow isn’t promised, therefore; never allow anyone to control your happiness only you can control your destiny. The battle is not your it’s the Lords.

Kimmie Merritt
April 6, 2016

Thursday, March 24, 2016

THE HAVES & THE HAVES NOT

There is some individual who were raised with morals, values and self-respect subsequent there were that individual who was just raised without principles.  What are the differences? Those individual who was raised with morals, values, and self-respect is referred to as THE HAVES. Consequently, that individual who was just raised without principles is referred to as THE HAVES NOT.  Why are they referred as such because THE HAVES were educated to distinguish THE HAVES NOT when they are approached by those with their pants saggy because it senses some sort of Ignorance.  Also, it displays that some guy doesn’t have the capability in presenting themselves in the company of others. This concept is extremely important to that individual who are planning to parent children.  Why? When individuals have children the parents are the one's who are supposed to teach their child how to present themselves in a respectful manner in the company of a woman. It’s the parent’s responsibility that their sons are presenting their selves in a respectful fashion versus wearing their pants sagging.

There is a disconnection when parents accept this sort of fashion trend from their sons and encourages their behavior via permitting it. Furthermore, if parents accept this kind of fashion trend then the children will never comprehend the downside such as health issues when they are up in age. When these youngster's become older there are going to have to deal with having terrible posture because of the fashion their legs are situated when their pants sag. Moreover, these youngsters will suffer from hip deterioration, also dilemma with their lower back. Is that what you want parents for your children?  In life, there are always causes and effects, because THE HAVES NOT wears their pants in such a manner it is going to cause health issues long-term.  Also, there are not turning back from these youngster's body disfigurement. This is why parents should be active in their son’s lives and give a damn about the damage when their son’s are wearing saggy pants.

In addition, children will be children, thus; if parents do not educate them how are they supposed to learn, and teach their children. It is said that children are our future but it is unforeseen because some children aren’t educated, some children are irresponsible and without the proper guidance. Attention: THE HAVES, become very cautious of the HAVES NOT. Do not accept anything that comes your way, and become extremely aware of what you are seeking from any guys. If THE HAVES NOT parents are not educating them about ethics, therefore; he will not be able to measure up to you-THE HAVES. Moreover, there are many things that are acceptable for males but are unacceptable for the females. This is a double standard because if something is acceptable for one it ought to be acceptable for the other.  I think if individual become educated on the saggy pants history subsequently a change may be a probability because some individual transforms to make certain things their lifestyle.

Furthermore, for changes to transpire congress will have to get involved, therefore; forcing a change such as ticketing THE HAVES NOT that wear saggy pants in public. If it has to come to that for change so be it because this has been excessive for too long, and the damage is already done from a health standpoint. For those who have an open mind, think about the millions of hip replacement that are going to take place because of the HAVES NOT wearing saggy pants. In fact, hypothetical the price of hip replacement is 30,000 simply imagine THE HAVES NOT that wear saggy pants having this surgery perform on them. “ching, ching, let the cash register ring”. That’s a lot of surgeries, and money composed on each HAVE NOT, therefore; the doctor's benefits again when hip surgery are performed. Actually, the longer it is permitted for THE HAVES NOT to wear saggy pants long-standing meaning further hospital claims and the doctors gets richer at the HAVES NOT expense. When is the time going to come when others stop being a part of the problem but be a part of the solution?

By Kimmie Merritt
March 24, 2016