THE CHEATERS CLUB

PART 1
A person may have been in a relationship in the past, and that person may have experienced a cheating partner. Now, this person who was the victim vows not to allow another man/woman to cheat on them ever again. A person may permit themself to become involved physically but not emotionally in the next relationship.  Also, a person may become connected to that individual but just to the point that a sexual relationship develops.  Actually, a person may become involved with numerous persons sexually without any attachments. The other person may think simply because they have a connection with that person he/ she may be in a relationship not realizing it is only a sexual relationship. This is considered having mixed signals because one person may feel that he/she may be in a relationship with that individual without realizing it is not an exclusive relationship. After having sex with a person extensively a person may or may not become emotionally attached but this depends on the individual.  This is where confusion plays a part in sexual relationships.  A person should always be precise in what he/she is seeking in any relationship. If a person just desires a sexual relationship subsequent articulate it. Don’t allow a person to assume sex means he/she is in a platonic relationship because there are an individual who is having sex, and deem having sex means a person is in an exclusive/serious relationship. I think people are not sincere after it is all said and done. When a person is sexually involved with someone a clear-cut understanding needs to be addressed such as I am or am not interested in a relationship I simply desire a sex partner nothing more.

Currently, people do not inquire if dating is in the present or future they are under their own presumption. People simply assume because they are spending time collectively, and having sex he/she or dating.  What happened to ask a person if he/she wants to date?  This is why individuals become confused because of mixed signals.  In fact, after spending time with a person he/she should inquire where he/she stands in the relationship. A person does not want to spend quality time with a person to find out later that his/her intentions are not to become more than a sex partner. This point is very important because it will determine if that person is worth the time.  Time is very important and it can be taken for granted therefore, it is vital how a person spends their time and with whom. Time waits for no one! Every minute a person spends with each other is counted because a person can’t take that time back.

When a person meets for the first time it is not clear what he/she is seeking. When meeting a person for the first time it is a proposal that both individuals are on their best behavior.  It is said a person's first impression is what wins a person over in determining if there is going to be a second date. Therefore, in the beginning, he/she will do and eloquent anything to be seen as the optimal candidate. In the technology arena, I deem it is significant to perform a background on people because this will give a person some sort of idea who he/she is becoming involved with because people are not forth-coming about themselves or their past.  A person shouldn’t take anything at face value. A person will articulate what he/she wants a person to know about them, and it may be false information. This is what I mean by telling a person what they want to hear.

There are several reasons why a person may cheat such as there aren’t listening skills in the relationship/marriage, therefore; he/she may meet someone who fills that void and listens. Following all that listening a sexual relationship beginnings. There may have been a time in the relationship when they both listened to each other. Following many years in a relationship,/married those listening skills take a back seat and aren't as significant as they were in the beginning. This leaves room for someone else to become connected and fill in what is lacking in the marriage/relationship. Also, some people lack those attributes they had at the beginning of the relationship and aren’t attentive to their partner's needs/desires, therefore; someone else comes along and fills that void.  Furthermore, couples seem to cease doing the things they used to do when they initially met in the relationship kept the fire burning and the fires have burned out. Therefore; it leaves room for someone else to fill that void that has been missing in the marriage and relationship. It takes two to keep the fire burning in the marriage/relationship, and if one isn’t doing their part that leaves room for someone. Some people are quick to cry the blues when he/she is cheated on but it is important to understand what is lacking in the marriage/relationship. Is that person doing his/her part?

Some people are so abrupt to change after he/she becomes married such as lacking independence and appearance. Therefore after he/she is married to that person it is vital to keep the appearance up. If a person does not keep themself up he/she will seek the next best-looking thing that is attracted to him/her.  People should know who he/she marry because a person's past will show up and show out in the marriage/relationship because of a lack of investigation on your part. This person may have cheated on his/her exes in the past but was never forthcoming with this information. Think about it, be a detective for once in your life because it‘s your life with his person. Some people become married not knowing who they married. There is never a rationale to cheat on a person, and I think if it comes to that point it is important to express those concerns. This gives the person the opportunity to make the necessary corrections. Now, if the person's concerns fall on the death ear then measures should be taken. Also, I think before a person decides to cheat he/she should leave the relationship/marriage because simply stepping out on the person is a bad decision and sometimes there is no return.  A person needs to live a happy life with whomever because a person only lives once and demise can happen in a blink of an eye.

Kimmie Merritt

March 20, 2016